Asking someone to give? Try asking for this first.
What’s the one thing the best fundraisers do before asking someone to give?
No, it’s not perfecting their pitch or researching giving capacity.
It’s much more simple – and often overlooked.
Before you ask someone for money, try asking for their permission first – because the ‘yes’ that matters most in fundraising isn’t the one that comes after your ask, but the one that comes before.
This simple step – asking for someone’s permission to have a conversation about giving – is one of the most often overlooked steps in the fundraising process.
Here’s why it matters:
1. It shows respect: By asking for permission, you’re acknowledging their time and attention are valuable. You’re not just barging in with your hand out. You’re treating them as a partner in your mission.
2. It builds trust: When you ask for permission, you’re being transparent about your intentions. This openness can significantly strengthen your relationships with givers.
3. It reduces pressure: Nobody wants to be cornered. When you ask for permission to discuss a gift, you give people an easy out if they’re not ready or interested. This can actually make them more open to future conversations.
4. It primes the conversation: If someone gives you permission to discuss a gift, they’re mentally preparing themselves for “the ask.” This can lead to better more productive discussions.
What does this look like in practice? Here are a few examples:
“John, I’d like to find a time to visit with you about a gift to help expand the capacity of our shelter. Would you be open to having that conversation?”
“Sarah, could we schedule a time to meet in a few weeks? I’d like to tell you more about our new youth mental health program and invite you to consider a gift to help get it started.”
“Mike, we’re launching a new effort to provide job training for people experiencing homelessness. Could we set up a meeting to discuss the project and explore your interest in possibly supporting it with a gift?”
“Lisa, our scholarship fund is expanding to support more students in need next year. Could we meet next month to discuss the program and explore your interest in making a gift to help these students?”
“David, we’re planning an upgrade to our food distribution center that will make it possible to serve even more families in need. Would you be open to sitting down with me to learn about the project and consider a leadership gift to make it possible?”
There are as many different ways to ask for permission as there are opportunities to give. The key is to be genuine, respectful, and 100% candid about your intention.
If they say “no” or seem hesitant, don’t push it. Thank them for their time and leave the door open for future conversations.
When we ask for permission to have a conversation about giving, we’re not just setting ourselves up for a better ask – we’re also building a stronger, more meaningful relationship with the person we’re asking.
And while I can’t quite remember who said it, I have this nagging feeling that someone, somewhere, told me one time that relationships matter in fundraising.
The next time you’re planning to invite someone to give, take a step back and ask yourself: “Do I have their permission?” This one simple question can transform your fundraising.
Why?
Because permission is powerful.
Permission can turn a transaction into a partnership.
Permission can change a one-time gift into a lifelong commitment to your cause.
Permission can open doors, build bridges, and create opportunities that might otherwise remain hidden.
Remember … fundraising is about so much more than money – it’s about inviting others to join you in making a difference.
It’s a journey, not a destination.
And more often than not, that journey begins with permission.
