Stop writing like a nonprofit and start writing like a human.
Most nonprofit emails sound like a bunch of cotton candy jargony fluff.
Here’s how they usually start:
At Organization Name, we believe inempoweringindividuals throughholistic,community-based,equitable solutions…
Sounds important. Also sounds like no one is going to read it.
Why not say it this way instead?
We be believe in helping people solve their own problems by working together as neighbors to find solutions that work for everyone.
Better, but we still have no clue what they actually do. A human would say something like:
We teach job skills to people who’re unemployed.
We provide free tutoring to kids who are behind in school.
We deliver meals to seniors who can’t get to the grocery store.
We help families find affordable housing.
The “we believe in helping people solve their own problems by working together as neighbors” part is just fluffy philosophy.
People want to know: What do you actually DO all day?
When we write like this, it’s like a plumber telling people they “maximize operational efficiency in residential hydration ecosystems through strategic pipe optimization and leak mitigation protocols” instead of “I fix your sink.“
One tells you nothing, the other paints a clear picture.
Imagine writing your mom to ask what your dad wants for his birthday, and starting like this:
Dear Mother, In alignment with our shared goals of meaningful gift-giving and strengthened intergenerational bonds, I’m reaching out to identify potential strategic investment opportunities for paternal appreciation initiatives scheduled for Q3.
She’d write back, “Are you okay?”
But that’s what we do when we write like nonprofits instead of humans.
I got an email last month that actually used the phrase “transformational philanthropic engagement opportunity.”
What does that even mean?
Somewhere along the way, we convinced ourselves that fancy language makes us sound more professional. More credible. More worthy of support.
But here’s what really happens when you write like an institution … donors get confused.
They can’t picture what you’re actually doing. And confused people don’t give.
Compare that to the first two sentences from an email I received a few months ago from a nonprofit my wife and I support:
When Sarah opened the door, her hands were shaking. She hadn’t eaten in two days.
It was human. It immediately pulled me in and made me feel something.
I kept reading.
And we gave.
Stop trying to write like an institution. People don’t connect with institutions. They connect with people.
Instead of “we facilitate programming for at-risk youth populations,” try: “We give teenagers a safe place to do homework and hang out after school.“
Instead of “implement evidence-based interventions,” say: “We use proven methods that actually work.”
Instead of “leverage community stakeholder engagement,” say: “We sit down with parents and neighbors to figure out what families actually need.”
See the difference?
Check out these opening lines from actual emails I’ve received:
At ____________, we’re committed to advancing food justice for vulnerable populations across our region.
vs
Last week, Maria skipped dinner four times so her kids could eat. You can make sure she doesn’t have to do that again next week.
Which one would you keep reading?
Try the “your mom” test
Here’s a simple way to check your writing. Ask yourself, would I actually use these words in a conversation with my mom?
If you wouldn’t naturally say “We’re seeking to optimize our service delivery model,” then don’t write it either.
Instead, you’d probably say something like: “We’re trying to help more people, faster.“
How do you stop writing like a nonprofit?
1. Use first-person and second-person language.
Say you, we, I. You’re writing to one person. Make it sound that way.
2. Use plain words.
Avoid: leverage, empower, implement, impact, innovative, holistic, individuals, stakeholders.
Try: use, help, do, change, fresh, whole, people.
3. Lead with a story.
Start in the middle of the action. One person. One moment. One image.
4. Be short and punchy.
Use short sentences. Write short paragraphs. Let the text breathe.
5. Write how you talk.
If it wouldn’t sound right over coffee with a friend, don’t put it into an email.
Why does this matter?
When you use human language, at least three things happen:
- People are more likely to understand exactly what you do.
- They can picture the impact of their gift.
- And they feel connected to real people, not an institution.
And that’s when the magic happens.
.
.
.
You’re already juggling a lot.
Meetings, deadlines, and maybe a dozen competing fires.
Writing doesn’t have to be another burden.
Take a look at your most recent fundraising appeal. Circle every phrase that sounds like it came from a corporate memo.
Then rewrite those sections like you’re explaining your work to your mom or your neighbor.
You’ll be amazed by how much clearer and more compelling your message becomes.
Just write like one human speaking to another human.
One story, one need, one ask at a time.
Keep it clear. Keep it simple. Keep it human.
And remember, your goal isn’t to impress people with big words.
Your goal is to help them fall in love with your mission.
And love?
It speaks human.
