The Three D's of Fearful Fundraising
Have you ever noticed how creative we can be in avoiding the things that scare us?
We’ll reorganize our entire closet to avoid having a difficult conversation with a friend. We’ll suddenly develop an intense interest in alphabetizing our spice rack rather than writing that challenging email. We’ll even volunteer to clean the office microwave instead of making that overdue dental appointment.
This is especially true in fundraising.
When fear creeps in, we can create incredibly sophisticated strategies designed to do one thing: avoid directly asking people for money.
Here are three common strategies fearful fundraisers typically use.
I call them the Three D’s: Delay, Delegate, and Distract.
Each one offers a temporary sense of relief. But long-term? They all make the problem worse.
The First D: Delay
You know this one. It’s the “I’ll ask them next time” syndrome.
“We need to build the relationship more…”
“The timing isn’t quite right…”
“Just one more meeting…”
This was my struggle early in my career.
The truth is, while relationship building and preparation are important, they can become endless loops that prevent us from ever actually asking. We keep waiting for the perfect moment, but that perfect moment never comes.
The Second D: Delegate
This is when we try to make asking someone else’s responsibility. It often stems from personal and cultural discomfort around money conversations.
“I’ll just hire a development director or major gift officer and let them do it.”
“The board should be doing all the asking…”
“Let’s have the program staff reach out to their contacts…”
“Maybe our volunteers can handle this…”
Sound familiar?
The delegation dance happens when we convince ourselves that bringing in someone else will solve our asking anxiety.
We tell ourselves we’re making a strategic hire or building a culture of philanthropy, but deep down, we’re hoping other people will handle all those uncomfortable money conversations for us.
Don’t get me wrong. Having strong development staff and engaged board members is important. But when we use delegation primarily as a way to avoid fundraising, we’re letting fear drive our decisions.
The Third D: Distract
This might be the most creative strategy of all. It’s when we fill our fundraising calendar with so many activities that we easily justify not having time for direct asking.
We plan elaborate events. We create complex peer-to-peer campaigns. We launch crowdfunding efforts. We do anything and everything except sit down with potential donors and invite them to give.
So what’s the solution?
It’s simple and also difficult.
The only way past fear is through it.
Delay, Delegate, and Distract might feel like solutions, but they actually keep you stuck.
What small step could you take today to move through your fundraising fear?
Maybe it’s scheduling that conversation you’ve been putting off.
Maybe it’s picking up the phone instead of relying on another mass email, social media post, or direct mail piece.
Maybe it’s looking honestly at your fundraising calendar and asking yourself what activities are truly serving your mission and what activities are just helping you hide.
What’s one small act of fundraising courage you can commit to this week?
